On The Claw

Got a whole lot of things in my head

whole lot of demons wishing me dead

could you shut up for a little while

you’re blending in with all things vile

got a whole lot of wrong in my mind

don’t know what you’re expecting to find

gets too real in here too fast for me

don’t know what you’re expecting this to be

you took me on without a second thought

for someone so afraid of getting caught

she’ll grind us both right into the dirt

told you when we met we’d both get hurt

I’m volatile and she’s a demoness

you got two sides of a double headed coin

you must be masochistic and nothing less

and I must be crazy thinking I could join

this dark menage a trois

my heart’s stuck on the claw

She’s got a whole lot wrong inside

so in my skirts you’d like to hide

while she passes by with dark eyes

little does she know we’re a surprise

don’t know what you’re expecting now

you’re keeping me secret somehow

you think you’ve finally found your path

by silently tempting a demon’s wrath

but you won’t get any better from me

boy you don’t know how killer I can be

double your pleasure baby double your fun

double your chances under double the gun

I’m volatile and she’s a demoness

you got two sides of a double headed coin

you must be masochistic and nothing less

and I must be crazy thinking I could join

this dark menage a trois

my heart’s stuck on the claw

Ah it’s coming down to the wire

can you feel it

the energy is getting dire

you’re coming too close to the fire

trying to steal it

but she and I both know you are a liar

Down in the dirt with you again

deep down in the dirt with you my friend

keep on digging til you hit rock bottom

keep on digging til you fall below the rotten core

I’m volatile and she’s a demoness

you got two sides of a double headed coin

you must be masochistic and nothing less

and I must be crazy thinking I could join

this dark menage a trois

my heart’s stuck on the claw

I’m volatile and she’s a demoness

so full of hellfire

you got two sides of a double headed coin

it’s down to the wire

you must be masochistic and nothing less

it’s getting dire

and I must be crazy thinking I could join

you’re such a liar

this dark menage a trois

this dark bed of ours

this dark menage a trois

my heart’s stuck on the claw

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Sharp Edges

I awake in my Inner Realms again, sweaty with the anticipation of the storm I feel brewing in the distant horizon.  In all honesty, I still fear inward tempests.  They put out such hostility sometimes.  But they come for reasons that I often won’t learn of until much, much later.  And lately, I feel I must welcome the darkness.  It is as much a part of me as the light, after all.  I have been facing my demons and walking that grey line that most people shy the hell away from.  I am no fucking wilting flower, though.  I can’t be.  I don’t have the choice.  I am not so sheltered.  I am my own woman, my own Witch; I must take care of myself and in order to do this, odd paths must be walked.  Khaos.  I adjust my eyes in the blackness of the inward night and I walk the long path again.
Oh.  Beastie in the wooded space close by.  I sense it.  Hello beastie.  I fear you not, you are mine, you belong here.  Hello.  I will not disturb you.  Perhaps later, once this storm has passed, we can become friends.  I would like that.  I shove my hand in the pocket of my cloak and find a snack for Beastie and I leave it behind with a whisper of a blessing.
Take care of your Beasties and they will take care of you.
I find the scythe-shaped boline in my pocket, heavy with black iron and handled in very dark oak and a metal I cannot name, and I handle it, feeling its weight and wondering why it is I have never used it since I spirit-conjured it so many years ago.  I remember the feeling I had whilst forging it; that knowing that I would someday need it, but for what?
Lately my mind has been on the sharp things, the uncomfortably dark things.  The things we refuse to face because we’re too afraid.  I stood up and decided to face these things and they confront me every which way I turn.  Fear’s like that little annoying voice in the back of my head, but I beat it back whenever it surfaces.  Fear’s like that daily temptation of the boy you like or the food that makes you fat; it niggles and it squiggles and it squirms and you hate that you want to reach for it.  You fear leaving that boy behind because you fear being alone all your life, forgetting that you are sufficient alone and many times you even enjoy it.  This has been my life lately.  This boy enchanted me for a few weeks and then suddenly I realized I was just a convenience to him, so I did the darkwitch thing and banished him from my life.  I am a sharp thing.  I make no apologies.
But sometimes there’s no denying the fear of the sting of the blade of life.  We shy away from the nettles even though their healing properties far outshine their prickles, and we worry about getting our hands dirty.  We don’t like getting hurt.  Getting hurt is the point of life sometimes.  We learn what hurts and what doesn’t.  We learn how much hurt we can take.  The darkness in your mind can overwhelm you.
My bipolar disorder, my anxiety, my depression, they are the curve of a blade finely honed.  But I am sharper.  I am quicker to cut.  I am a sharp thing.  I make no apologies.  If you feel my sting, rest assured you deserved it.  I am through being the meek child-girl-grown-tall and I am through being adornment.
I am a sharp thing, you are all sharp things.  Man, woman.  Nonbinary.  Transgender.  We are all sharp things, sharp and swift.  We win.  And we make no apologies.

Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, Celtic, Crystals, Depression, Divination, Greek, Herbalism, Mental Illness, Norse, Rants & Raves, Road Spells, Spells With Crystals, Stories From The Road, Tarot, Weird | Leave a comment

do you think you can face my flames

You could never silence my voice. You do not have that kind of power. There is nothing in this world you could ever do to put fear in my heart. I suppose you thought I was beaten. Down in the dirt, bleeding, licking my wounds and searching for salt with which to heal myself, I am here, and I am down, but witness my rise. You will see my fire and wish that you could still come near it, see it, watch it in the daze of the spiritually sleeping, wish you could warm yourself by its embers… But you will never get that chance ever again. So watch my fire spread across the sky. And if you try to get close again, I will fucking incinerate you.

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what i look for in a man

There has been a question people have asked me many times and I despise it, but feel overly pressured to answer it: What do you look for in a man? This question prompts me to roll my eyes and feel that sense of being fully misunderstood, yet I cannot expect the person asking it, especially if I have just met this person, to know that I am pansexual and polyamorous, not straight and narrow at all. How can this person know who I truly am? If I were to allow that person access to every self I have ever found, could they accept me? I am not a light and fluffy, calm and sweet, tailored to fit the measurements required of me by society lady. I am dark and stormy, cloudy, luminescent like the Moon. I am a fighter, a warrior queen, a battle goddess. I do not take kindly to weakness, because this world is tougher than anyone will ever willingly see. I am rough and tumble, not afraid to get dirty, and I wield more power than anyone sees day to day. I will not allow anyone to take that power from me, either. I do not take disrespect or intolerance. I am an equal-opportunity ass-kicker. If you expect me to be the girl who sits pretty in your parlor and plays the piano, you may go fuck yourself, please. I am polite but I am also blunt as hell, and you will not change me. New folks who are not used to this will balk at my rough exterior and interior, but they will not get the reaction from me they want. I do not aim to please. I do not shrink to fit. I do not kowtow to those who believe themselves higher than me on any kind of food chain. We all die. We all end up in them piney boxes. Please shut up, I am talking. You asked me a question, and I think you believed it a simple one. Perhaps in a former version of myself, in another life, I would have agreed with you. But nothing in life is simple, and I am a rare bitch, so this will be harder an answer than you expected. What do I look for in a man? Firstly, let’s rephrase that. What do I look for in a partner? I look for the compassion to love, of course, but I also look for the responsibility that comes with that love. Do you understand that I will never be your expectation? Can you love me for the insanity whirlwind that I am? Do you want the idea of me or the reality of me? Do you have the balls to deal with my mood swings, my anxiety, my randomness? I look for someone who has more balls than I do, or at least equal balls. I will never expect that person to change for me, and I expect the same courtesy back. But challenge me, challenge my mind, speak my fucking love language and never hold back. Cry in front of me if you feel like crying, and speak the fuck up if you have something to fucking say to me. If I am silent, remember I’m usually silent because I’m spiritually awake and aware and likely tuning into something I’m sensing, so don’t worry too much, because if I am angry at you, trust me love, you will know it. I’m not silent about my feelings. I fight until I see a reason to stop fighting. If I stop fighting, I’m done. I will not tolerate you forcing anything on me, and I will not tolerate a one-sided relationship. I can smell bullshit miles away, I can sense it when you’re lying, and there is absolutely not a damn thing you can hide from me, so please don’t even try. I’ve been abused, I’ve seen some shit, and I’ve learned a lot. I’m the girl you think you can play with, but darlin’, please, I invented this game and I will show you how to play by example. Don’t mess with me. So when I am asked what I look for in a man, I just smile politely and let my silence speak for me. There is genuinely no answering this question. You don’t want the long answer. You want me to say I want a man with nice eyes and a caring heart and a fat wallet. No, no, no. I want SOMEONE, man, woman, transgender, genderfluid, gender nonconforming, I don’t care, SOMEONE who can take me as I am and raise me up to becoming a better version of who I am, and who is open to me doing the same for them. Because I am unconventional in love and out of love, and if you cannot roll with the punches then you and I will not be right for each other. If you cannot handle my falling in and out of love all the time, being polyamorous, then you’re definitely not right for me. I need someone who understands. It isn’t that you aren’t enough for me, it’s that love isn’t a bird that can be caged. I am not a bird that can be caged. If you try to force me to stop flying, I will use the talons the Goddess gave me and slit your fucking throat. I am dangerous, I am danger, I know my worth and I know myself well. If you do not have the patience, the will and the wish to know me as intimately, then please move along. I won’t judge you, trust me. Hell, maybe we can be friends. I am highly aware I am not for everyone. I am also very okay with this. I don’t want to be for everyone. I have a tribe, a coven, a wolf-pack, who love me despite my manias and my craziness. Who love me despite my hasty trigger finger, my hexing, my vexing, ranting, raving, unholy bitchiness. Who love me BECAUSE of these things. I need SOMEONE who can run with my pack, conjure with my coven, dance with my tribe. I need SOMEONE who is in tune with their bodies, their minds, their souls, their hearts, their Selves, their spirituality. I need SOMEONE who can run with me, because boy how-dee baby, can I run. I also need SOMEONE who won’t put the MANIAC in NYMPHOMANIAC. I am a nympho, darlin’ and if you can’t give me what I need you’ll met the Maniac. You’ll especially meet the Maniac if you pretend that you can keep up with me and prove otherwise. I despise liars with such a fiery passion that it burns deep in my belly. You lie, you break my trust, and if you break my trust, you become the shunned in my eyes. Never fuck me over. If you fuck me over, you are well and truly fucked. I know how to make you suffer without lifting a finger. I am an enigma of strength and fire. If you think you can do this dance, then try. Go ahead. You won’t lose a thing, except maybe your dignity if you think you can try to play me. But don’t ask me what I look for in a man, dear, because unless you really care, you’ll regret it.

Posted in Rants & Raves, wicked witching wild woman warcries | Leave a comment

Dear Unhealthy Parents…

Dear Unhealthy Parents,

Your daughter is gonna have sex. Your daughter is gonna suck a dick. She’s gonna lick a clit. She’s gonna touch herself. She’s gonna touch other people. She’s gonna have fetishes & kinks. She’s gonna be sexually attracted to people. People are gonna be sexually attracted to her. You have a human that you’re raising. She’s gonna fuck someone. That’s what humans do.
In no circumstance is it okay for you to punish her for having human feelings. When she has sex, she shouldn’t be afraid of what you would say about it. She shouldn’t have to do it in secret. She shouldn’t be afraid for you to find out. Especially if it means you’ll put your goddamn hands on her.
Don’t EVER try to destroy your daughter’s sexuality for ANY reason.
“I know what boys are after, I don’t want them to hurt her.” Guess what?? Your kid is going to get hurt by SOMEONE no matter what gender they are. That’s not an excuse anymore.
“What about STDs??” You’re her parent. Teach her about STDs. Have her ask her gynecologist. Sit with her & learn about safe sex & birth control. It’s not hard to find informational videos on YouTube too. There’s a way to prevent STDs without abstaining from sex.
“What if she gets pregnant?” Read the previous answer. If she gets pregnant anyway, help her to do what she wants to do with it. If she wants an abortion, take her to get one. If she wants to keep it, you STILL don’t get to punish her. Be disappointed, be stern, have a talk with her, but don’t ever make her feel like she’s a bad person for having had sex.
“I don’t want my daughter to be a thot/slut/whore.” It’s none of your business how many sexual partners your daughter has. It’s none of your business how many sexual partners ANYONE has. Sex should never be guilted or shamed.
“She won’t get any respect from men.” If you raised her to rely on respect from men, you raised her wrong. She should not live & breathe for the respect of men. She should live for the respect of herself, & part of that includes the freedom to have sex as much or as little as she pleases. She is not a device for men to judge & you should be ashamed of yourself if you’ve taught her that she is. Her worth should never be decided by a man.
Stop trying to make your daughter resent you. & don’t put your fucking hands on her for doing things that you don’t like. Beating children makes them afraid of you, & fear leads to resentment. What do you want them to remember when you died, the tender moments & fun times, or the times you beat the living fuck out of them for being human?? Be a parent, not a police officer.

-Unknown Author

No, I did not write this, and I would normally not be posting things like this, but it makes me think a lot.  If I were a parent, of a teenager especially, I would have issue with a lot of things.  Drugs.  Smoking.  Boozing.  But sex is not one of them.  Experimentation happens when you hit puberty.  You try crossing every line and doing everything in rebellion possible.  But as a parent, you should not be holding a chain connected to your kid.  You are raising someone who will at some point be on their own.  You will never be able to control their behavior.  Influence it, perhaps, but never fully own it.  This stigma and shame attached to sexuality should stop.  Sexuality is a major part of being human.  It is the expression of love and is full of the vitality of life.  We are no longer in the stone age, or in the fifties.  Make sure your kids are aware that they can tell you anything they feel they need to.  They can confide in you….  If they cannot then that is unhealthy.

Just a few thoughts from the witchy.

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I Clearly Really Hate You

​Oh good.

Underestimate me.

So I can embarrass you.

Not like that’ll take much…
I’ve met some pricks in my time

but you sir are a cactus

well, maybe one of those miniature ones

if you ran like your mouth

you might be in good shape

nothing brightens up a room like your absence

acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger

in fact we need a microscope to see yours

you have more dick in your personality

than you’re ever gonna have in your pants

look after your eyes dude

they’re the only balls you’ll ever have
If I wanted to kill myself

I’d climb up to your ego

and jump down to your IQ

did someone stop payment

on your reality check

you’re the reason nobody likes you

I look forward to reading your obituary

stupidity is not a crime

so you’re free to go
Did your brain take a laxative

cuz there’s way too much shit

spewing out of your mouth

it’s time to flush it down

I would slap you

but shit splatters

I’ve found puddles deeper than you

I love the sound you make when you shut up
If laughter is the best medicine

then your face must be curing the world

if brains were gasoline

then you wouldn’t be able

to run a flea’s go-cart two laps around a cheerio

the last time I saw something like you

I flushed it

if everywhere you go there is a problem…

guess what…
I have one nerve left

and you’re dry-humping it

go away

get a condom for your heart

cuz I’m about to fuck your feelings

hey train wreck

this isn’t your station

you’re a dildo…

like I’d call you a dick

but you aren’t real enough

I’m not saying I hate you

I just hope your next BJ is from a shark

Posted in Drama, Mine, Petty Shit, Rants & Raves, Song Lyrics, Ya Done Fucked Up | Leave a comment

From my portable Book – Ego Problems

Note:  These types of entries are dashed down hurriedly as I am on the go.  Sometimes they don’t make much sense.  But they do come from deep intuition…  So here we go.

EGO PROBLEMS

Ego must be put in check so that the soul’s voice can be heard clearly and so that the heart’s path can be seen and followed.  Heartsong is always drowned out by ego’s flamboyant symphony…  Because we are taught to ignore ourselves and love the material and believe in the false.  We forget that we are all individuals.  We try to blend in within the guises of society, but much of society is superficiality and lies.  We are all under the grave misunderstanding that if we simply put a pretty face on everything and everyone, no matter how terrible the deeds they have done or how awful the world is at any given moment, everything is just fine.  Mind control…  Thought control…  The media, the government…  With every move and every word, we lose our Selves in the mires of what we believe we want as told to us by the rest of the distracted, completely fucked up world.  If we all self-actualize and rise up, that illusion would be destroyed and the world would become a confused mess for a while, but then…  The possibilities are endless…  What we could do for the people who truly need it the most…  Right now, as it stands, we are all too afraid of commitment.  We must commit to mutual understanding and to loving the whole rather than individual petty concerns.  How we must look to outsiders…  Those we don’t see who watch us…  Our ancestors are ashamed of what has become of their progeny…  Until we realize that we are all connected to each other through our soul patterns, our soul DNA.  If we do not band together to save ourselves and our planet, we wwill all go down together, screaming, in flames.  Don’t think for a moment that ignoring this will help any situation.  We ignore it, we are doomed.  We must stop hiding behind hatred and superficiality.  We must stop ignoring the cries our Mother makes, before She dies.  We must take care of Her the way we used to, before politics and technology and toxic mind pollution distracted us from seeing the truth, the one right before our eyes.  We have to stop just sitting by while others kill our planet, and all of us.  We must awaken!

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